you might think

you might think~
that at 45 I’d have it all figured out.
that I’d know what I want to be when I’m grown up.
that I’d know my skin tone and color palette and how to put on eyeliner.

you’d be wrong.

you might think~
that by now I’d have found my voice, my passion, my raison d’être.
that I’d know my strengths and weaknesses.
that I’d be comfortable in my own skin.

I’m working on it.

you might think~
that I’d know what serves me well and what doesn’t serve me at all
and I’d be smart enough, strong enough to make the right choices
to make the hard choices
and just step away.

it’s a process.

you might think~
that I’ve given up, sold out, resigned myself
to a half-lived life and taking the easy way out.
that because I have lots of day sixes but rarely day sevens
I’ll never be free.

I pray that you’re wrong again.

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